Fenomenul "Felix Slamovics"

Yediot Aharonot, November 4th 2005

Zadok Yehezkeli, Yosemite

English: DPP

This was his chance to bring it all to an end. If there is such thing as the perfect suicide opportunity, now was the time. Now. Not in a minute. It would have been quick, almost painless, heroic, sublime. The moment when everybody wipe their tears. Just perfect.
Twilight rays caressed Felix Slamovics’ face just before dark clouds, foretellers of a coming storm, replaced sunlight. He laid alone on the high granite terrace, which he reached after three days of sweat, pain, and one accident in which he was flung from his chair, his safety rope wrapped around his neck. However there was no blood, and no tears either, as Slamovics does not tend to cry, not even when he suffers. And he suffered indeed. He suffered penetrating chill, whistling winds that would not rest for a moment, and especially he suffered the cursed  dependent on his fellow climbers. Some he no longer trusted. In particular, the American handsome blond one, whom he suspected for a while to be no more than a coward and a loser. He knew they did not have it in them. He felt that even his wonderful Israeli friends were not as eager to reach and win the peak as much as he was. The Americans kept fearing an upcoming catastrophe, kept mentioning two Japanese climbers who died here last year of exposure, and he kept   beseeching them to calm their petrifying horror from the dangers, kept pleading, begging, threatening, insulting, trying to buy more time, meter after meter, until they helped him here, to the stone terrace high up the cliff.
Now they left him alone for a moment, preoccupied in hanging their hammocks from the granite wall, before the cold rain comes and wets them. Which is no serious matter if you’re down there, but up here, at this height, might mean a slow death, just like those two Japanese men.
Josh Helling, the legendary rock-climber, was the man sent to pull/rescue both corpses from the mountain, just a few meters from here. The other night he told Felix that he would never forget the faces of the two men, who were hung from their ropes, safely secured. “Their eyes were open, staring upwards at the far away peak”, he said. But what he remembered the most was the smile smeared on their faces. Typical to death caused by exposure. In the last moments, an intoxicating loss of senses is experienced. If you’ve reached that stage, you’re doomed, for you’re no longer fighting for your life, the brain stops that frantic search of ways to survive.
Deep inside, Felix Slamovics now knew that his struggle to reach the cliff’s top has ended. Only 600 meters separated between him and his biggest dream, but they might as well be 600 light years, due to the approaching storm, his weak body, whose muscles have already been degenerated by his A.L.S disease, and in spite that handsome blond guy, Hans Florine, whom he hired to help him make his dream come true, before his illness defeats his completely. Everybody called him “Hollywood Hans”, for his amazing climbing skills, and his amazing high speed. He holds a world record of climbing the top of the “El-Capitan” – less than three hours. But that record was achieved with one partner, in mid summer and without any extra gear. Now, just before winter, with half a ton of equipment and a group of eight climbers, including one who used to be a legend too, until the damned disease ruined his muscles - Hans turned out to be a huge disappointment. Slamovics threw it at him when he was already very frustrated by their poor  rate of progress, and was fed up with Florine’s pressure to give it up and going down. “This is my last chance, don’t you get it?” he raged at the blond, and managed to get another day from him. And another day. But now he knew it was all over. From here there is only going down. He stared at the magnificent scenery of cliffs and woods, and putting an end to his life  has crawled into his thoughts.
“This would be a great scenery to end it all”. The thought was tempting. He’ll have to hurry up, because in a few moments the opportunity will slip away. For just a brief moment he was not tied to the rope which guards every climber every minute. For four days on the cliff he was tied the whole time, his friends made sure he was, but now, on the safe terrace, there was no need to. In a few seconds, when they are done with more pressing tasks, they will tie him up again. Now, all he had to do is drag himself a few inches, and fall to the abyss. He was weak. Very weak. If he was healthy, he would have been already at the peak. Still, he had that much strength to pull his body to the edge and let gravity do the rest.

The Strongest

From the moment I laid my eyes on the El-Capitan, the gigantic granite cliff in the midst of Yosemite National Park, on a sunny day, and until the journey has ended in a strong snow storm four days later , I had a feeling that we went insane. How dare we let this small weak man attack a vertical wall, smooth as a shaved head, five sky-scrappers high? It’s insane, I repeatedly reproached myself. What have we done?
But that is how Felix Slamovics is like. Just as he hypnotized  his fellow climbers, he managed to convince “Yediot Aharonot” to help him make his last dream come true, before the cursed disease will burry him inside his own paralyzed body like in a coffin. The story published here a few weeks back, in which we told all about the handicapped climber, and accompanied him to the Wadi-Ram cliff in Jordan, achieved it’s goal. Hundreds of readers were moved by Felix’s dream and volunteered to assist. The most generous contributor was former head of the Israeli Industrialists Association, Dov Lautman. “I admire him”, he said earlier this week, and recalled how he too was astonished by Slamovics’ will power and firmness. One of the people involved in the Felix Project told us, that one of the donors offered Slamovics to give up his dream, and use the generous donation to pay for the expensive medical treatments he will eventually need, instead. But 42 years old Felix, single, who never saved a dime, and who is almost penniless, rejected the offer immediately. “It’s not just my dream”, he said. He hoped his success reaching the top would change the attitude towards his illness, A.L.S. , which is being almost totally ignored by researchers who study terminal diseases and try to find a cure. A short while before the climb began, Slamovics was sitting in his caravan, struggling in an attempt to eat some grapes. All his fingers were already bent and deformed. Just a few days before the trip he lost the ability to stretch the remaining functioning fingers. His friend Shiri Kerman, who went to the US with him, wanted to help him to pick the grapes, but he insisted as usual, struggled to reach his fingers, hold the grapes and put them in his mouth, not always successfully, but kept trying. Just like he did on the cliff, with the same marvelous persistence, on the borders of madness.
Even his four close friends who accompanied him on the cliff, who have known him for years, were stunned by what they saw in those four days on the mountain. They were amazed with the strong will power, by which he was able to keep turning the wheel that lifted his wheelchair-like seat, developed especially for him, as well as with his remarkable endurance against the cold, despite the fact that his thin weak body shivers at the lightest summer breeze. Alon Hod, who was besides him the whole time, was terrified when he saw the rain penetrating hammock’s covers and into the sleeping bag of the helpless suffering Felix.
Hod saw his friend tormenting, and “It was hard to be next to him and watch his helplessness, but he wouldn’t let is defeat him. I knew he’s strong, but had no idea he’s that strong. He managed to amaze us all. We did not think he’s that crazy”.
Even Hans Florine, who took many insults from frustrated Felix for failing to bring him to the peak, forgave him for everything. “I’ve never seen such a strong man”, he said. “In the middle of the rain he used to say to me, don’t waste time on getting me a cape, I can suffer anything, just keep climbing.’“ No man in his condition has never climbed the El-Capitan yet.
After rescuing him from a biting wind blow, which left him hanging, with the safety rope wrapped against his neck, he smiled as if it was nothing, and asked “can we do it again?”.
And he wasn’t fishing for compliments. For him it was an existential need. The only thing he was thinking about was his target. “I was the only one there who knew for sure that this was my last journey. The thing that devastated me was not the physical inconvenience, but rather the helplessness and having to depend on others all the time. I kept thinking “God, if I was healthy I could do this”.

The Mutiny on the Cliff

Soon enough, everyone realized they are dealing with a split man – a degenerated weakened body on the one hand, and an unbreakable spirit on the other. It tore them apart to watch him climbing on his device, inch by inch, but at the same time were astonished by his persistence keep going. Rock-climbing, beyond the difficulties, persistence, and physical strength required, is mainly a field of taking decisions. Life and death decisions, all along. In the four days on the El-Capitan, in unstable weather conditions, the climbers were going mad seeking for the right decision. Should they risk it and keep climbing, not knowing for sure whether they will be able to come down when the storm begins? Should they come down and give it all up? Should they wait in the extreme coldness, until the storm is over?  The dilemmas caused everyone sleepless nights. During all these crises, only one man was consistent, thriving towards the summit: Felix Slamovics. His voice would be heard on the radio, arguing excitedly one night during a conversation they had, in their hammocks hung on the cliff. At the same time there were severe disagreements and mutual insults between the Israelis in the group and their American fellow climbers.
“They’re all against me here, except the Israelis”, Felix once shouted into the radio at the heat of an argument, on the morning of the third day, when the weather forecast announced a coming storm. “Hollywood Hans” demanded that they come down. Much like on a ship, rock-climbing can only have one leader, but Slamovics played the role of Fletcher Christian in “The Mutiny on the Bounty”. “Don’t you understand I will not have another try?” he shouted furiously.  Omer Niv, his devoted friend who has been taking care of him like a nurse for the last months, begged him to calm down. “It’s not worth it if we die up here”, he said. But Slamovics  would not allow his Israeli friends to join the Americans. At that point he was certain that the ship’s captain is not fit for the task. He started to throw insults at them. “If you only want to play safe, start playing ping-pong”. He tried begging, as well: “Look at me”, he said to the blond captain, “you look at me, and see what? An invalid, a handicapped. But I wasn’t always like this. Even now, in this condition, I can handle the cold, I can survive without food or water. I have waited 27 years to this moment. I won’t have another try, you are my last chance.”
His Israeli friends felt the intensity of the situation. They took a pause from life to come here. They have been taking care of him for months. They love him as their brother, and at that moment they decided to stand by him. Down at the mountain’s foot a similar drama was taking place. Shiri Kerman, her heart torn apart with Slamovics’ pleas, encouraged him to keep going. “Don’t give up”, she said. When the captain surrendered and agreed to go on, Felix’s crying “yessssssssss” could be heard all over the place. But that was his last happy moment. Two of the American climbers slid back down, one of them due to a death in his family. The captain too had other engagements. It was possible to go on without them, but then the black clouds were approaching.
Even in the middle of the storm he was not going to give up, and urged his friends to stay on the rock until the storm is over, and then carry on. “Cowards” he threw at them, agitated. “If I was healthy, me and Leslie would go on even in the storm”. Leslie Fucsko  is his best friend, himself a legendary rock-climber, with whom he climbed mountains when they were kids in Transylvania. They used to sneak out of school to climb cliffs. There is no one in the whole world Slamovics trusts more than Leslie Fucsko, whose quiet and introvert character is so opposite to Felix’s.
Fucsko, who has not seen Felix in many years, joined the journey immediately. He tried to conceal his shock at the sight of his friends, whom the disease turned from a Superman into skin and bones. During the whole journey he hardly spoke a word, just put an enormous effort quietly, crawling onto Felix’s hammock at nights, catching up with him all the long time they were away from each other. Fucsko assured his youth-friend that he will stand by him forever from now on, but on that morning, when Slamovics tried to lead the last mutiny, Fucsko broke silence, “you are risking the lives of all of us, as well as yours”, he cried at him in Hungarian, “if temperatures drop by just five more degrees, and we’re still up here, we will freeze to death. It is over, Felix”.
Felix shook his head painfully, and said: “I understand it’s over. I will not make it to this peak”. His friends stood there, hiding their tears. “I felt a stab to the heart”, says Michael Malchin, a businessman who got involved in Felix’s story, left everything and volunteered to manage the whole operation. He sat at the bottom of the rock and grasped his head. Already he was thinking about the next stage in Felix’s life. “I’m asking myself how will he recover from this. We will all carry on with our lives, all of us have things to anticipate, but what’s ahead of him?”

I want to win

Now, 24 hours after coming down the mountain, he is sitting in the cafeteria of the visitors center of Yosemite. Exhausted, shivering, looking a little bit defeated. I tell him that his friends were concerned he might try and end this in the most dramatic manner, cut the rope when up at the top and get done with it, nice and easy. He already assured them that he does not plan to do so, but just to be safe, someone made sure  to search his pockets for a knife. He laughs at the story. “On that terrace I thought to myself ‘this is my change, the perfect scenery, plus it will be painless as well. But then I said to myself: ‘no, Felix, no. I want to keep on living. For me, staying alive is a triumph, and I want to win. You know what? Today, my wish to stay alive is stronger than before the journey.”
And he does not have any illusions about his future. The disease is deteriorating. No one can deny it is eating him alive. Today, even standing up is hard for him, not to mention walking without aids. His friends had to carry him on their backs the short way from the cliff and back.
But he wants to live. Even though the gun-trigger medallion is still hung around his neck, he now tends to think he will not take his own life even if his disease come to the last stage, when he will only be able to move his eyes. That night, when he talked to his childhood mate on the hammock, hung between the earth and the sky, Leslie reminded him of their old alliance: if one of them falls and gets hurt during climbing, his friend must help him end his life, to save him from the misery of being paralyzed.
“When I remembered the alliance, I was afraid to come to the El-Capitan”, Leslie told him. “I was scared you’re going to ask me to keep my promise and help you committing suicide on the rock”. He uttered the words with great fear, not knowing whether he will be demanded to pay the debt. But Felix reassured him, to his great relief. “Lucky for all of us, because if he would have ask me, I would have done it”.

The Next Goal

The day after the climb, the sun was again shining over Yosemite, and Felix could not hide his bitter disappointment. “We should have stayed on the mountain” he said sadly. His Israeli friends are convinced he has all the reasons to be proud of himself. “Felix is no tragic protagonist. The target was way beyond getting to the top. The target was more important than all of us, and in that sense, we all won”. Said Omer Niv. Felix became gloomy, but soon enough cheered up again, and talked about the future with enthusiasm.  Who knows, he said, maybe until May, when the snows will defrost in Yosemite, my condition won’t be that bad. “Yes”, promised Leslie, “and I will take you up there”. They both know the odds aren’t high, but who said he can’t hope? Felix says he’ll find a goal anyway. “Raising funds for research is also a goal to thrive for.“
Dov Lautman agrees. “From my point of view, he did reach the top”, he said excitedly. He took the trouble and called Felix to cheer him up, on the cliff and later, after his return. “You have done a lot”, he told him.
“The Felix Project has advanced public awareness to A.L.S disease dramatically”, Lautman reckons, “before Felix had told his story, only few knew about this disease. Felix has changed this situation all by himself. “
On his way back home, the Israeli community of the Silicon Valley hosted him, embraced him, demanded to hear his story, again and again, a story which will be also shown in a film that the sport channel will produce. It seems that only after this warm welcome, Felix Slamovics realized that the El-Capitan did not defeat him after all.
Lautman suggests to call the A.L.S. “Felix disease”. In the United stated, where the awareness to the illness is much higher, it is known as “Lou Gerig Disease”, after the legendary baseball Yankees star . Lautman also wishes to put Slamovics in the center of the fund raising campaign, to place the next goal in front of his eyes. So forget about this being Felix Slamovics‘ last journey. There will be new ones.

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